16:20 – I pick my nice, shiny press pass.  It says ‘Andrew Garvey, writer kakutougi.com’.  That’s not a great start but at least it was there. (It should have read 'Andrew Garvey, writer Kakutougi.info)

16:45 – doors open.  Unfortunately, I’m in completely the wrong place and have to go and find the back exit.

16:55 – I get inside but promptly get hopelessly lost.  Dana White’s bodyguard (yes, such a man exists) directs me from the Media Centre to the arena.

17:02 – I find my seat in the press section.  This is at least twice as big as the press section at UFC 38 in 2002.  I’m smack bang in the middle of the second row.  Excellent position, even if it often leaves me staring at a cameraman’s arse.

17:09 – an intriguing rumour ringside says Antonio Rodrigo Noguiera may debut at UFC 72 in Belfast.  I suddenly decide I’d actually quite like to visit Northern Ireland.

17:21 – the fights are due to start in 14 minutes.  There’s no way they’ll be ready.

17:35 – I’m wrong, and probably not for the first time tonight.  The actions starts on time.

17:39 – Edilberto Crocota dances to the Octagon.  He does a great job of disproving the myth that all Brazilians have rhythm.  He’s also wearing a very floppy hat.  Paul Taylor gets a good reaction, even though the arena isn’t yet half-full.  The fight is very fast-paced early on.  Taylor looks much slicker, he hurts Crocota a couple of times in the first.  Crocota has a decent jab but is a bit sloppy.  He caps a good first round by nailing Crocota with a couple of very good knees.  The ring girls, especially the dark-haired one, are impossibly hot up close.  Twice in the second, Taylor drops Crocota with low kicks.  Again, Taylor controls the round and looks good.  Taylor shows a good sprawl and seems to have better stamina.  As the third round starts Crocota is looking exclusively for power shots.  Sadly for him, Taylor lands a hefty right high kick to the face.  Crocota goes down heavily.  Taylor follows with a savage flurry and Herb Dean hauls him away for the stoppage 0:37 into the round.  A very, very good debut for Taylor.

18:02 – Dennis Siver makes his entrance.  Jess Liaudin comes in next having announced in his pre-fight promo that he’s looking for the prize money that comes with ‘Submission of the Night’.  He looks loose and relaxed and also gets a very nice cheer from the crowd.  The fight starts and Liaudin misses a spinning back kick.  Siver takes him down and while they’re on the mat some comedian in the crowd shouts “stick your finger in his ear!”  I’ve heard worse advice from some corner men.  Liaudin looks for a triangle choke, then transitions into a lovely armbar in just 81 seconds.  It’s going to be hard not to give him that ‘Submission of the Night’ bonus after that.  Joe Rogan may not actually need a microphone since he shouts so loud during the post-fight interview.  Like Taylor this was a great debut for Liaudin.  Even better, I’m 2-0 on my predictions now.

18:21 – Alessio Sakara gets a surprisingly good reaction.  The fight itself is a strange one.  Sakara looks in destructive form, very good at mixing up his punches.  Sakara hurts Valimaki and he pauses, seems to turn away and spits his mouthpiece (at least, I think that’s what happens).  For some bizarre reason referee Mario Yamasaki allows him to get away with this and cleans up his mouthpiece.  Sakara thinks he won the fight.  When they restart, Sakra DRILLS Valimaki with a right hand by the fence.  Sakara blasts in a couple of lefts as Valimaki turns and cowers away from him.  It ends after just 1:44.  At ringside we’re trying to decide how long it’ll be before we see Valimaki back in the Octagon.  I’d say about 47 years.

18:40 – they keep showing goofs in the crowd on the big screens.  But only goofs with girlfriends.  For some reason the camera keeps bypassing my mates at the show.  This annoys them slightly as they also want to look like tools on TV.

18:46 – David Lee’s entrance music rocks.  An instrumental death metal track with some great drumming.  The dark haired ring girl is absolutely stunning.

18:50 – Lee gets a really good cheer from the crowd.  And my favourite ref Herb Dean is in charge.  Yay!

18:52 – Assuncao hurts Lee with punches early, one of which is a sort of slapping/hammerfist thing.  Assuncao is very aggressive in close.  Assuncao starts to really dominate but Lee counters with a perfect spinning backfist.  Lee goes down from a low kick.  He tries an armbar but Assuncao is too good, takes Lee’s back and goes for a rear naked choke but runs out of time.  Easily Assuncao’s round.  Assuncao goes for the takedown early in the second.  After a few punches he takes Lee’s back and looks for the choke.  With Assuncao working patiently, the crowd get very restless.  They may not see it but Assuncao is making progress even as they boo.  He gets the choke and Lee taps out 1:55 into the second round.

18:58 – somebody from Zuffa explains there will be around 16,000 fans in the building.  The number is a bit lower than I’d expected but considering the seat kills caused by having six big screens its understandable.

19:02 – an awesome UFC video package airs.

19:13 – Matt Grice is in the Octagon.  He gets some boos on his introduction while Terry Etim gets the best reaction of the night so far.  Etim tags Grice with a punch early.  An aggressive fighter, Etim tries to follow up with a flying knee.  But Grice avoids it and slams Etim to the mat.  Etim has a tight guard but Grice does well with punches and elbows, pressing Etim against the fence.  Etim tries a heel trip but Grice keeps his balance.  Etim manages to get back to his feet and goes for some knees and then a standing guillotine.  Grice tries to counter with a takedown but eats some punches.  Etim goes for another guillotine, this time from his back.  Grice passes out without tapping 4:48 into the first.

19:22 – I’m now 5-0 on my predictions.  I may be a genius.  Rogan is interviewing Etim.  Rogan does NOT need a microphone.  His shouting is more than enough.

19:45 – I hit the Media centre for some free food.  Two plates of wholemeal BLT and tuna & cucumber sandwiches later and I’m feeling pleased with myself.  There’s also a toilet there so I don’t have to queue up like the rest of the 90%+ male audience.  I again get lost leaving the Media Centre.  Again, Dana’s bodyguard directs me the right way.  He’s clearly a very nice man.

19:52 – possibly the greatest highlight video I’ve ever seen (apart from that history of Pride one at Pride 33) is shown on the big screens.  It ends with footage from Griffin-Bonnar I and what sounds like some frenzied Balkan Turbo-Folk music.  A boxing writer in the press section can’t believe how much higher the production values are than even the biggest boxing shows.  So far its been a very well organised and fast-paced show.

20:00 – pay-per-view start time and Michael Bisping’s promo video gets a big cheer from the now packed building.  Sinosic’s video gets heavily booed.  Mirko’s face on the screen gets a big cheer.

20:02 – as the UFC theme music plays I witness the most hysterical thing in the history of Earth.  Bruce Buffer is stood on the apron where the ring girls walk and he’s just wigging out to the music.  This is no exaggeration but Buffer is head-bobbing, air-drumming, foot-tapping and generally acting like an overexcited goof.  Highlight of the night, without question.

20:09 – the Silva-Kongo video package gets a good reception.  The clip of Kongo kneeing Christian Wellisch gets a nice “ooooooh” from the crowd.

20:11 – Kongo is the more popular of the two.  Yes, a Frenchman is being cheered in Manchester.  Kongo is listed as having a “Greco-Roman background”.  Having seen a few of his fights and witnessed his grappling I ask somebody if that means he’s been on holiday to Greece and Rome.

20:18 – the first of some fairly regular booing starts as they’re on the ground.

20:22 – at the end of the first round, which I have Kongo winning, the dark haired ring girl walks by with the card in hand.  We fall in love.  Well, OK, I fall in love.  She just walks by.

20:27 – I see myself on the big screen.  I’m far too old and mature to be so excited about that.  But I am anyway.  Silva seems to do enough to take the second round.

20:29 – footage of Bisping entering the arena gets a huge reaction.  Kongo takes the final round of a dull fight that has a few bright spots where Kongo shows off his striking skills.  Its hardly an ideal opener for the pay-per-view though.

20:37 – I’m now 5-1 on my picks.  Silva, who genuinely seems to think he’s won, is 0-3.  I’ve PWNED Assuerio Silva.  But please don’t tell him I said that.  As the scores are announced I can’t fathom how one judge had this fight 28-28.

20:43 – Lyoto Machida looks tiny for a Light Heavyweight.  David Heath has some great entrance music, ‘Love Spreads’ by the Stone Roses.  It’s a bit of a cheap attempt at popularity  using a Manchester band but it’s a great song.

20:47 – both get a polite reaction as they’re introduced, Heath slightly more than Machida.

20:48 – the booing starts and my familiar despair at watching Machida kicks in as well.

20:51 – the crowd briefly enjoys the fight due to Heath’s ‘fly through the air and land on your arse’ attack.  But they’re quickly booing again.

20:53 – resounding boos for the end of the first round.  As expected Machida, who actually looks very fast and sharp, is winning in the most boring way imaginable.  This already looks like a repeat of the Koscheck-Sanchez abomination from a few weeks earlier.  Footage of Cro Cop entering the building gets a big cheer.  I notice a woman whose entire job tonight is clearing photographers and corner men out of the way of the ring girls.

20:56 – utterly bored with the second round of this so-called fight which has all the intensity of a half-hearted sparring session, the crowd decide to put on their own entertainment by clapping, stamping their feet, whistling with derision and booing.  I don’t blame them.

20:57 – Machida lands a lovely knee and yet again I wonder how a fighter with so much talent can be so horrible to watch.

21:00 – after a second round where Heath can’t do anything and Machida won’t the highlight of the fight so far may be one of Machida’s corner men vigorously scratching his balls for a good 30 seconds.  This is certainly more interesting than the fight, although I don’t know why.

21:03 – Machida hits a great succession of knees to the face and I decide I may not hate him quite so much after all.  He’s actually trying to finish the fight.

21:05 – the torture is over.  The crowd now hate Machida and I reflect on the fact he looked phenomenal for about 90 seconds in there.  A shame the fight lasted 900 seconds.  I’m now 6-1 on my predictions as Machida picks up the boring decision win.  I wish I’d been wrong.

21:08 – a video promo for UFC 72 in Belfast airs and Martin Kampmann is identified as a “Dutch kickboxer”.  Oh dear.  Kampmann is Danish.

21:14 – Bisping’s pre-fight video airs and people get very excited.

21:16 – Elvis makes his entrance and is widely booed.  He seems relaxed and amused by it all.

21:18 – Bisping charges out to Blur’s ‘Song #2’.  Blur suck but this song is great.  The entire crowd are on their feet and getting very overexcited.  Elvis is booed again on his intro while Bisping, suddenly hailing from Liverpool/Manchester is treated like an all-conquering hero.

21:28 – Michael Bisping just spent almost five minutes pounding the life out of Elvis Sinosic.  As the round ends I doubt Sinosic will come out for the second.  He takes a ferocious beating as the crowd gets ever more excited.

21:30 – Elvis floors Bisping with something neither I, nor Michael, actually see coming.  He looks in bad shape and suddenly a lot of people look very worried.  Elvis goes for the Kimura and I’m convinced it’s over.  The enormous cheer when Bisping escapes, reverses and bashes Elvis to defeat is fuelled by relief as much as joy.

21:33 – Bisping calls Elvis a ‘kid’ in his post-fight interview.  This cracks one of my friends up and he sends me a text to tell me so.

21:37 – wasting no time, the Arlovski-Werdum video package airs.  Arlovski is clearly very popular.

21:41 – I finally spot Jean Claude Van Damme.  He looks ridiculous with his pinstriped trousers, spray-on t-shirt and oversized sunglasses.  That incredibly miserable young woman is with him as well.  I take a closer look and am 100% sure it’s the same girl who seemed to hate the Bodog show.  It must suck to be her on a Saturday night when JCVD insists on flying all over the place to watch MMA shows.

21:42 – people are on their feet for Arlovski’s entrance.  His beard is tremendous, vigorous, impetuous, and outrageous.

21:48 – early in the first round Werdum appears to just slap Arlovski hard on the temple during an exchange.  This amuses me greatly.

21:51 – there’s a pretty big ‘Andrei’ chant just before the end of a round that Arlovski wins.

21:53 – Werdum’s spinning kick attempt gets a few loud ‘oooohs’ from the crowd.  Sadly, there’s not much more going on here than in the Machida fight.  I think if it weren’t for some very good prelims, Bisping, Bruce Buffer dancing and the upcoming destruction of Gabriel Gonzaga I’d be hating this show.

21:57 – the fight is getting some heavy boos right now.  There’s a nice flurry right at the end but that was a very boring round.  I’ve now lost interest in who’s winning this fight.  I just want somebody to do something.

21:58 – Randy Couture is ringside and is shown on the big screens.  Massive cheers and a strong ‘Randy’ chant break out.  Yes, Randy Couture is more popular sitting down than most men are fighting.  And that’s rightfully so.  Randy stands and waves and gets an even bigger cheer and chant.

22:00 – the third round has started and the only positive reaction is when Bisping emerges at ringside to watch it.  Everyone seems to have lost interest.

22:03 – Werdum lands some nice punches late on but it’s not enough to make anyone genuinely care, or to win him the fight.

22:06 – Arlovski takes the unanimous decision.  The crowd now don’t like him but he says ‘sorry’ during his interview and they now cheer for him again.  Who says saying ‘sorry’ doesn’t work?

22:07 – I notice one of Arlovski’s sponsors is ‘condomdepot.com’.  This strikes me as being very funny.  I don’t really know why.

22:16 – Gabriel Gonzaga makes his entrance.  His music is absolutely atrocious.  Some cheesy, specially written rap-metal crap.  Ugh.

22:18 – the lights go out and ‘Wild Boys’ kicks in.  The crowd are dancing, stamping their feet and clapping to the music.  There are some 6 billion people on this planet.  And Mirko Cro Cop is the only one who can make ‘Wild Boys’ by Duran Duran this cool.  Mirko gets a great reaction, better than anyone expect Bisping.

22:21 – there’s a substantial ‘Mirko’ chant just before he’s introduced.

22:24 – the fight has started and Gonzaga is the aggressor.  He looks good on his feet too.

22:26 – this fight is not going according to plan.  Gonzaga looks tremendous.  He’s laying in some great elbows on the ground.  They’re just a few feet away from me and they are clearly landing, and heavily.

22:27 – bless Herb Dean, he’s usually a great referee but there’s just no excuse for him standing them up at this point.  Gonzaga is still working.  The restart has the press section baffled.  An atrocious, thoroughly unfair call by the referee.

22:28 – Gabriel Gonzaga knocks Mirko Cro Cop out with a high kick.  I stand up, hands on my head, just looking shocked and bewildered.  At the same time another man, directly opposite me on the other side of the Octagon also stands up, looking absolutely stunned.  Its Dana White.

22:31 – Cro Cop is helped onto a stool after a scary couple of minutes in the recovery position.

22:38 – I go to round up my friends so we can leave.  Sadly, I have to skip the post-fight press conference.  I walk past Joe Silva.  He looks like he’s seen a ghost.

22:46 – we leave the arena.  I still have trouble believing I actually saw Cro Cop get knocked out with a kick to the head.  I wonder how insanely overexcited Joe Rogan’s reaction was and decide as soon as I get hold of the show that’s the first thing I’ll watch.

Discuss this here.